I'm verry happy to know you

One of my bestfriend is leaving today, going back to her country. She cried at the door of the train. I also cried and waved goodbye. I hugged her and kissed her. And she said, to my surprise, "I'm very happy to know you..."

It was a strange experience, and somehow it has given me a sense of freedom. I was not afraid anymore to show how I really felt about her, and for the first time, my stomach or gut was not tensed or confused. It felt light. Really, it felt light. I cried, but I felt light.

Maybe I had been afraid of something unreal, scared of feeling the pain, fear of crying. When you just did it, as I never expected, you felt lighter...

I'm still sad, you know. My tears did not wash away the feeling. But I feel free to be sad. I feel free to show my emotions. I feel free to feel....

It has been an amusing relationship she and I have. We never really showed in words how much we cared and loves each other. What we did was just teasing each other, tickle each others' brains to entertain our art of making fun. But that's the way I usually show my affection, and I think she enjoyed and practice the same rites. Although today, this morning, it was different. She hugged me, and said, "I am very happy to know you..." And you know, I felt really touched, although I thought, "Why wait until the last minute of your leaving to say that?"....

Maybe because she did not want me to tease her about it...but now she's temporarily free of that....

(O, you wait, Girl...I still can tease you with emails and calls...)


Groningen, 2 October 2006, 7:28 AM